A few years ago the surprise of a serious illness cracked me wide open. My entire existence was thrown into question and surviving because the most important work of any day. Yet again in this life, I was faced with the unanswerable question of: why did this happen to me?   The shadowy parts I thought I had so well managed, the parts I had labeled “victim” or “weak” and tucked into dark recesses, seemed to raise their voices in choruses of blame, mistrust and fear. And the louder they shouted, the more I became aware that this was no sudden shift, but the deeper voice of self-shame, self-doubt, self-questioning that had been whispering through my life as long as I could remember.…