You always inspire me with your fresh and open expression of your spiritual path. How does having and giving a voice to spirit contribute to owning Worth?
It is so important to me to give voice to Spirit and I am so thankful for the platform that I have to do that, I do not take that blessing lightly.
I give a voice to Spirit because I can not stand to see others suffer. I don’t like to suffer either. None of us need to suffer with so many of the things we suffer with…like not feeling worthy and feeling the need to earn a place of worthiness through massive amounts of ambiguous rules that seem to change with every generation. There is so much suffering that happens because people feel unwanted, unloved and unworthy…or they just feel like they are the wrong kind of human or whatever….or because they try to make others feel that way who are not keeping the “rules”. I give voice to what I know about Spirit because Spirit is desperately wanting everyone to know the truth about just how beloved each of us are, how important we each are…I know this from my own experience of my soul being rescued by this truth. Can you imagine the peace on this earth if everyone knew for sure that they were absolutely beloved? I dream of that.
I also recognize that Spirit comes in so many different forms for so many different people and that when we put an absolute on where the truth comes from, it leaves a lot of people out. The truth is for everyone. Love is for everyone. Worth is for everyone. So…when I talk about Spirit, I work hard to be as general as possible so that others know for sure that they are never left out of the beauty and truth of what is true about each of us. I know for sure that we are all one big family, even if there are many different names for that. I want more than anything for us all to be good to each other, to include each other, to care for each other, to remember each other, to help each other, to show each other light when there seems to only be darkness. We are all so incredibly loved and looked after by our Creator and I can not stand the thought of someone thinking that there is anything that could ever leave them out of that love or that belonging.
There was a time when I tried very hard to do all of the things that you learn from the outside, from the time you are a little girl….I tried to do all of those things to earn worth, to gain worth. I did the clothes and the body and worked hard to make the money. I was a good girl and kept the rules. I tried to be worthy and to earn worthiness. It’s a very wobbly tight rope when you base your worth on something that is temporary and changeable and has so many variables, it’s terrifying!
Well, through a course of disasters and experiences and consequences, I lost one thing after another that I had worked so hard to give me “worth” until all that I had left was this soul I am. This spirit that is…me. This was also incredibly terrifying. It was dark and many days hopeless and hauntingly quiet while at the same time so loud with all of those old voices coming up spewing lies telling me that now that all of that stuff was gone, my worth was gone too.
That’s where Spirit came in for me. I knew I came from a place of great creation, just like the sunrise and the trees and the flowers. I was so sad and hopeless and scared. I began to just ask, in prayer….”please show me who I am” and…even down to the nitty gritty questions…”am I really worthless trash now that I have lost everything and made mistakes and because others treat me like I am worthless trash sometimes…what is true about me, who am I really?” “have all of these bad things happened in my life because I deserved it, because I am bad?”
I am open and expressive about my relationship with Spirit because it saved me. When I asked, the answers were given. I learned that I am not ANYTHING that is temporary or of this world….that none of us are. I learned that I am beloved and that I do not have to earn that title. I learned that we are ALL beloved and do not have to earn that title. I learned that any message or person who works to make us believe that we are less than anyone or anything else is a lie…and all that a lie is, is a lack of truth. And I learned that the truth is….we are all important and loved and we all have tremendous potential and that we don’t need to worry about whether we are worthy of love, because we were created in love and we are kind of made of love…and that we just have to step back into that truth and out of the lie. That the truth is light and the lies are the dark…. I learned that I have constant support and guidance from Spirit, no matter who else is with me or against me. When we believe the truth about how beloved we are, our behavior changes. To walk as if you are beloved, you just live a different way….you seek out good things, and create good things and want good things for everyone. You are not desperately trying to claw your way into the few exclusive places that are saved only for the worthy.
Then…I learned that I am not the only one who was suffering…and now I can see it in the eyes and hear it in the words of others….that suffering that I spent so many years wading through. And I can not stand to just sit and let others suffer when I know that they too are so beloved, that so much help and peace and comfort is there for all of us if we just stop believing lies about our worthlessness. I can not stand just letting someone believe that they are unworthy of love and belonging.
And THAT is why I have devoted my career and life to doing whatever I can in my own voice to help others understand and hear and remember what is true about all of us. That we are going to be okay, that we are beloved, that we don’t have to wait to be chosen by someone to be loved….that we can love and love and love and not expect love from another human in return to feel worthy…because we are so loved by Spirit, and giving that love back to each other will fill our lives with love..…that when we align ourselves with the truth of who we are, beloved children of creation, that we will stop suffering so much and stop making each other suffer. When you know you are beloved, there is still hurt and hardship in life…but not all of that suffering of wondering if you are worthy.
What are the times when your vision is fuzzy around worth?
The times I am most fuzzy around my worth are when I go back to old habits of looking up the ‘rules’….the rules of how to be worthy of love and acceptance….like, how my body should look if I am to be loved and accepted, how much money I should be making if I am truly worthy, how many people show up for my business offerings if I am worth something worthwhile. I get fuzzy when I look for these answers because the answers are coming from a bunch of other humans whose paradigm about worth is also based on weird old lies and ambiguous rules and all sorts of craziness.
I get fuzzy when I try to pay for my blessings and the good things in my life…because it seems there is never enough time to pay for everything. Or when I try to pay for my mistakes….there is never enough and it wears you out when you try to pay for things that don’t have a price tag.
When I go back to Spirit and ask about my worth…it is all so clear. And…the answer is always so simple. For me, when things are complicated and difficult and filled with a bunch of ambiguous rules, I have to be suspicious about them…because in my experience, the truth is usually pretty simple. Not always easy, but usually very simple and beautiful and true and pure. You are loved. You are important. You make a difference. You are meant for joy. You are perfectly imperfect just like everyone else. You are learning. You will make mistakes. You can do better tomorrow and it’s ok. You don’t have to jump through any hoops to maintain your title of “beloved” …. you just have to keep stepping into it and keep believing it, and living it.
What are your practices to step back into ownership, knowing your worth is of divine value?
Well, ownership is HUGE. There are always opposing voices that we have to choose between when it comes to what to believe about our worth. Most often, the meanest voice is the one that is in our head, left over from some very broken person or experience that convinced us in some way that we are not worthy. (or that we will be worthy as soon as we are done paying, or as soon as we have suffered enough or as soon as we are perfectly keeping all of the rules) It is always lovely and wonderful and helpful when others try to love us. We need love! We need acceptance! But if we have big stone walls built that won’t let any of that in, it is of no use. We can not rely on others to make us feel loved and worthy. We can not wait around for that to happen.
We have to own what we receive as truth and what we believe. We have to take responsibility for this difficult task of showing up where the peace and truth is, and creating it when it does not exist….of walking away from places that seem to be aimed at hurting us or confusing us or devaluing us. We have to ASK the source of all creation, Spirit! We have to ask! We have to participate in our own daily sustenance, and we have to control what goes in our heads and hearts. We have a deep responsibility to fill our thoughts and lives and hearts only with what is true and good. But also remember that we will mess up, and then we get to begin again. We have to let ourselves begin again, start over…as many times as it takes, and do it with self compassion.
I have to go where the peace is. It’s getting more and more difficult in this loud world. I have to be very intentional about it or I get sucked into the vortex of loud voices on the internet and billboards and magazines and stores.
I have to go where the peace is…then protect my peace. It is a discipline and a practice. It is daily…and I mess up a lot!
When I am having a rough time, I have a practice I do called “when in doubt” and what I do is I close my eyes and I think of all of the people who love me, including Spirit and all of my ancestors who have gone before me, and all of the women I serve who are such a support in my life…and my family….I think of them and I do my best to remember that THESE are the people who I should believe….not the magazine articles that say I am aging and need to do everything I can to stop that…not the advertisements that tell me that I will be okay once I have this car or this lotion or a skirt in this year’s color. Not even the person who I thought was my friend who cut me in pieces with angry words or cruel actions. And…definitely not the haters, who are just broken people who do not know that they are beloved and that I am beloved. When in doubt, I go where the truth is, where the peace is, and I try to stay there.
And, practically and honestly….there are physical experiences that I crave where I can be with Spirit and I try to incorporate those things in my life as often as possible…and then be present in those experiences, unplugged. I have to remind myself to NOTICE what is there for me and what is there for all of us if we just stop and see and listen and feel. Like…I hear Spirit speak in the wind that blows through the trees, in the sound that rushing water makes….in the brush strokes across the sky when the sun is coming up and going down. I can kneel down in prayer and have a conversation ANY TIME I want to and ask about my worth. I don’t even have to kneel, I can do it in the car, I can do it anywhere…..we all can! When you ask Spirit, Spirit answers in so many different and beautiful ways. I see the purity of Spirit in a baby who has not yet learned the crazy rules and just loves everything about life, everything is a wonder. My Grandson has brought me closer and closer to Spirit and reminds me of my worth every time I am with him. I feel Spirit in music and art that has come through a partnership with Spirit and another human. I see and feel it in others….in their kindness and acceptance and meaningful conversations between two people who are really looking for truth and have no use for gossip and score keeping.
If we pay attention, it is the simple, true and pure things that will remind us of our worth and it is certainly not the complicated, expensive, exclusive and temporary things that will teach us the truth of our worth.
How do you love to help others see their worth?
You know…I think about how the world would be if everyone knew who they are and how valuable they are…there really wouldn’t be any reason to fight or to be jealous or to be selfish. If everyone knew that everyone else was just as worthy as everyone else…that we each are just as valuable as everyone else…and everyone else is just as valuable as we are…we would be good to ourselves and to each other. There would be peace.
I love peace.
So the way I love to work toward helping others see their worth is to give them a vision of how things really could be if we just believed the truth….we really ARE all valuable, and it is not something that can be taken away or changed. The first thing I try hard to do is to help others understand that there is not a worth heirarchy….there are not some people who are worth love and some people who are not worth love. We are not different of values or different measurements of worth….we are all just as valuable as everyone else. That value is beyond comprehension and it can not be changed by economics or mistakes or aging or weight gain or relationship changes or skin color or sexuality or religion or intelligence. (or anything else)
And also that we are all learning and we make mistakes and we stumble and sometimes we feel like weirdos and freaks and outcasts just because we are different and that those things only add value to our lives because of the wisdom we gain from living through those kinds of experiences.
I love to help with words. Words help me and words are my favorite tool for healing. Something that I try very hard to do is to break concepts down into very simple language and to try to use words and stories that will seep into the hearts and souls of others. Stories have been teaching us since the beginning of time. I write a daily email like this, and I try to think of some kind of ‘lie’ that is hurting humanity and address it in simple language with light and truth. It is a message called “A Little Bird Told Me”. We send it out to over 100,000 women every week day, and then it gets forwarded and passed on and on and on. Because it is true, and it rings true. No one is excluded. This truth of our worth and our belonging and our value…it is for all of us. That’s why when we really listen, it feels true, and we want it to be true even if we can’t quite believe it yet.
Over the last years I’ve also learned that the very best way I can help others to see their worth is to see my own worth. I have to walk through life as if I am absolutely beloved. I have to live my life as if I am absolutely beloved. If I want others to believe it, I have to believe it. I started by just practicing to walk through life as a beloved person who is worthy of everything good and true. The more I did it, the more true it felt. I remembered that I have never felt more peaceful, alive and calm than when I am sitting with a woman (or man) who knows who she is and is unapologetic about who she is simply because she knows she has nothing to apologize for. It is healing to be with a woman like that because it makes us all feel like it’s okay for us to be that way too. It feels true. We all just need to do what feels true, and when we practice living as if we are beloved, watched out for, part of humanity…when we behave as if we belong and so does everyone else….it just feels truer and truer. I want to be a woman who knows who she is and never feels a need to apologize for that…..because there is nothing to apologize for. I want others to feel safe and beloved around me simply because I am validating what they already know at their core to be true…that we are all beloved. I want to be that woman. I am beloved. I am known. I belong. And so does everyone else.
Melody Ross – artist, writer, seeker
From very humble beginnings, Melody Ross has come to be one of the most well-known names in the art and design community. From her original company, Chatterbox, to her current endeavors with Brave Girls Club, Melody has always been known for her unique, soulful art; her positivity in the face of adversity; her hard-earned wisdom; and her loving, free spirit.
Join us for a 21 day course where we will strive to deepen our relationship to our worth through conversation, practices, prompts and community.